crayfish nightmare

Our river has been invaded by signal crayfish, an American non-native breed which out competes our smaller native species. The big boy brought a crayfish trap back from Scotland. The big boy set his trap with a huge bream which had died and washed up on the river bank. (It gets worse) For several days the trap has remained stubbornly empty except for the increasingly stinky bream. Today - hey presto - two signal crayfish and two eels! The eels were released without harm back into the river. The crayfish revealed themselves to be the invidious signal variety. Big boy loaded them into a carrier bag. He has brought them home. He has stolen some water from my goldfish to keep the crayfish alive in the base of a bucket. The pan of water is currently boiling on the stove. I hear the click, click, click of the barbeque tongs as the Big Boy fishes the larger crayfish out of the bucket and into...... the pan of boiling water. Its partner will join it in one minute. We are supposed to be eating them for our tea. OMG. This boy could survive in the desert or on the mountains. I wouldn't and that's for sure. The crayfish have turned from brown to bright red. Its time to eat.......